You saw that title and thought, what the heck does Willy’s World have to do with eating disorders?
Luke, the main character in Luke the Hybrid Reindeer & His Vivacious Elf, has battled anorexia on and off since he was a teenager.
When readers pick up this series they expect Willy and his craziness. Each story has a theme outside of Willy as well. I’ve covered love is love, adult bullying, addiction and redemption, domestic violence, and child abuse.
And now we get to Luke, whose story I (unfortunately) understand too well.
Forgive me for getting personal, but here goes…
I was fifteen when my eating disorder started. I was having problems with my knee and given a cortisone shot. My weight, that had always been in the mid-nineties or so, got up to 103. No biggie, right? I knew as soon as I got off the meds I’d go back down to my (already too thin) normal weight. I have ADHD and have always been rush, rush about everything, so that played a part as well. I also should stress that I’m barely an inch over five-feet tall.
My mother pushed me to step on the scale. Her exact words to me (as she laughed) were, “You’re getting fat.”
Mom and I never had the best relationship. My sisters and I were criticized at every turn. I, being the youngest of the three, was blamed for the destruction of her and my dad’s marriage simply because I’d been born a female instead of male. Apparently, I was the ‘last chance, save the marriage’ baby. My dad always wanted a boy and already had two girls, so…
To be blunt, until my mother died last year I wasn’t treated well, yet I was expected to wait on her hand and foot. It was especially hard after I lost my sisters and I was her only living child.
All that is a story I won’t go into, but suffice it to say that her, “You’re getting fat,” that was said in glee (seriously) was a huge turning point for me. I started seeing myself as overweight so I started cutting back on anything and everything with calories. What Luke consumed during his worst moments was exactly what I had day in and day out – lots of black coffee, a lot of water, and a 230 calorie candy bar.
At my worst I was 83 pounds, severely anemic, always dizzy, dry heaving constantly because I barely put anything into my body, and passing out daily. Like Luke, I had an amazing teacher who went above my mother’s head and pushed for me to get help. He risked his job to do so because he was a good man. When my mother finally took me to the doctor it was done simply to prevent Child Services from stepping in, not out of concern for my health.
I wasn’t allowed to speak. I wasn’t allowed to tell anyone what I was going through. All questions were asked of my mother, not me – you know, the patient. I was forced (unlike Luke) to have test after unnecessary test run on me for stomach issues. I did have an ulcer but that wasn’t what was causing my rapid weight loss. When a nurse in the doctor’s office pushed for why I wasn’t eating, Mom said the same thing Luke’s mother says, only with sister instead of brother, “She’s jealous of her older sister. She’s doing this for attention.”
I loved my older sister, but she was the favorite. Everybody knew this because my (divorced) parents were quick to tell everybody that.
Both of my sisters are gone now. My middle sister was treated as bad as I was. Well, worse in some ways.
It was that same older sister who showed up at our house out of the blue with her new husband who finally got me help. She’d not seen me in a few weeks and she caught me walking out after a shower in a thin tank top, shorts, and a towel on my head. You could literally see my ribs. She freaked, my brother-in-law freaked, Mom got yelled at for ‘watching me kill myself and doing nothing about it’ and I was in a doctor’s office – without my mother – the next day. I wasn’t allowed to go home before I was sent straight to the hospital for an inpatient stay.
The sister who I was ‘supposedly’ jealous of literally saved my life.
I was finally getting the help I needed, but that didn’t stop my mom. She threatened me if I dared speak with a social worker or anybody else in authority. If I did, I was to lie and say I ate fine and WAS doing it for attention because I WAS jealous of my sister. I may have resented being constantly told my sister was better than me, but that wasn’t what started my ED. I never said any of that but I wasn’t overly cooperative when questions were asked. I was terrified of my mother.
Since then I’ve battled on and off. I met my husband during a relapse three years later. He’s watched me pass out in restaurants and at concerts. He’s held me as I’ve lain on the floor of the bathroom praying I won’t faint. After my sons came and got older, he taught them what to look for if he wasn’t around. That’s the worst of it for me as an adult. My kids were literally told what to watch for. That breaks my heart to this day and they’re all grown now.
I’m a lot better now, but the mindset never truly goes away. I still remember every comment made to me about my weight over the years, especially during my teen years. I’ve not spoken to a family friend since I was eighteen because she said, “Oh! You’ve put on quite a few pounds since I saw you last. You know, with your mother being overweight…” Rude on her part, yes, but something I should’ve gotten over already. For the record, I was 98 pounds when she said that.
The comments are never forgotten. The people saying them may long forget but the person they say them to won’t.
With that being said, if you know someone who’s suffering, LISTEN. Don’t judge. Don’t say you know how they feel unless you’ve experienced it yourself. Don’t tell them to get over it already. And for God’s sake, never, EVER say, “Just eat.” Oh, and this one was always fun (not) – “I know you’re supposedly sick and all, but shouldn’t you cut back before you gain too much?”
You’d be surprised how insensitive some people can be.
If you know somebody who’s suffering, reach out. They may say they’re doing fine but they’re not. When they look in a mirror they don’t see what you see when you look at them. They see an overweight person who could lose a few more pounds. At my worst, I would gain one and lose three. It was a pattern.
When you read about Luke just know that his story was written from someone who’s been there. A lot of details were switched around and/or fictionalized for his particular story, but not the severity of the issue.
If you’re suffering and need someone to talk to – someone who understands – please reach out to me. If not me, somebody else. I promise anything you say will be kept between us. Shoot me an email to candikayauthor@gmail.com. I had nobody when I was a scared fifteen-year-old girl. Looking back, I know having someone to talk to who simply understood would’ve done wonders in my recovery.
My mother went to her grave denying I ever had any type of problem. I spent every day until then being told constantly that I was fat, that my husband would leave me if I gained any weight, etc. Lord, I could go on, but I won’t.
I hope you all enjoy Luke the Hybrid Reindeer & His Vivacious Elf. You’ve all embraced my crazy North Pole and I’ll forever be grateful.
As for Willy, well, he’s more over the top this year than normal so be prepared. He takes his crudeness to a new level. Every time I tried to tone him down he just got worse.
I’ll pop back in when ‘Luke’ goes live on November 1st, as well as with a post on another November 1st release, Kane the Fake Elf & His Sexy Mall Santa, both of which are available for pre-order now.
Until next time,
Candi Kay
P.S. I don’t suggest looking up memes about this topic. A majority of them infuriated me. Apparently, eating disorders are a big joke to some? Just… wow.
I want to thank everyone who has checked out 
You might remember Luke from 
It should be noted strongly that if you’ve not read the series up to now the characters and their stories will likely not make much sense. In other words, this can not be read as a standalone. While Luke and Micah will definitely get their HEA, it will also lead in to the series finale next year, Santa’s story. Santa’s story has already taken shape and if I had the time I’d be writing the heck out of it right now. I’m hoping I can get to it soon.
You can check out an exclusive excerpt at 
Kane the Fake Elf & His Sexy Mall Santa is NOT part of Willy’s World. This is a brand new contemporary story with absolutely nothing to do with Willy and his gang of elves and shifting reindeer.
Blurb –
For years I’ve been dealing with carpal tunnel. About three weeks ago it went beyond the occasional aches and pains to something a bit more severe in my left hand. I’ll spare you all the details, but suffice it to say that I’ve not been able to do much typing because of the pain. I’m much better now, but there were a couple of weeks that I had a difficult time even logging on to my computer. I’m working on the final edits and hope to have it published in the very near future.
I’ve also gone back into Willy the Kinky Elf #6 and should have the first draft finalized very soon.
I’m now on 
via private message on there. Not sure how it was reported considering it was my best friend I sent it to. And trust me when I say that what I sent her was mild compared to others we’ve sent back and forth. 😉 I’m assuming that whoever posted the pic originally was tagged and it had them tagging me as well. Who knows? I learned a long time ago not to question the way Pinterest works. It does no good.
The first one is An Unlikely Romance – Ben & Mason. This is actually the 2nd story written in the ‘An Unlikely Romance’ series but I’m publishing it first. I’m able to switch them up because characters and settings aren’t linked in any way. All main characters in each book will come together under unusual circumstances. There’s also a bit of insta-love happening in the first 2 books, along with well-meaning relatives who try to do some matchmaking. They’re not, however, set in the same towns or have any characters in common.
At the moment, it’s around 30,000 words. That may or may not change before it’s published. The blurb (below) is subject to change slightly.
Blurb –
I didn’t vote for the corrupt governor or any of the others in Montgomery. During the campaign Kay Ivey, the governor, didn’t debate, didn’t campaign, didn’t answer any questions. You know why? Because she knew that she was going to win because of that big R next to her name. The man who ran against her for governor barely put up a campaign because he knew she would win. I’m hard pressed right now to even remember his name and I voted for the guy. Sad, huh? He gave up before he ever even got started.
I feel like I’ve been everywhere over the past couple of weeks. We flew home on a Saturday, drove to Florida on Sunday, flew back to Colorado on Monday, then left to drive all the way across the country on Thursday (close to 2,000 miles because we detoured for some touristy stuff). I’ve been on long road trips before but nothing quite that long. Thankfully, my husband and I are really good on road trips. This one was 3 days of driving. We’ve been together for so long, and traveled together so many times, that it’s just almost routine these days.
I’ve been up to my ears trying to finish the 6th installment of 
As of now the plan is still to end the series in November of 2020 with Santa’s story. That may change, but that’s where it stands at the moment. I’m still working on who his love interest will be. Aside from that, the story – and how to end the series – is basically already written in my head.
I hope all mothers had a nice day on Sunday. I celebrated a few days before with two of my sons because of my travels. My husband took me to dinner because I couldn’t be with my sons on the actual day. It was nice but I missed them. Mother’s Day has always been bittersweet to me. I’ve always enjoyed the day as a mother, but not so much as a daughter. That’s not something I dwell on these days.
For those of you signing up for email notifications – You have to confirm the subscription by clicking a link in your email. If you don’t confirm it, you’re not subscribed. If you don’t receive the confirmation email check your spam folder or shoot me a message and I’ll take care of it for you. Unless it’s confirmed (via link or a request to me) your Rafflecopter entry for that doesn’t count. If you’re unsure how to subscribe, the form is on the right of this (and every other) post or you can leave a comment anywhere and click the little box below it.
A Bit Of A Rant
There’s disagreeing with somebody and there’s being a jerk. We all have a right to our opinions. If somebody doesn’t share yours, ask them why instead of making assumptions and lumping them in with specific groups…. or simply walk away.
I’m as sickened over the state of the world right now as most of you are. I’m a big ally when it comes to the rights of everyone. I will stand up and loudly fight for the rights of everybody. But I’ll be damned if I’m going to be pulled into a fight and go back and forth arguing with somebody publicly over anything. All it does is stress everybody involved out and the argument ends with neither side having won. It’s not worth it to me – not emotionally or physically. I may not say a lot publicly, but I don’t miss much. I just learned a long time ago to pick my battles.
I have two official series going on – 
One thing that hasn’t changed in five years is that I still suck on social media and with self-promo, though I’m always available to talk to readers. Just because I’m a little shy doesn’t mean that you need to be. 😉
I’m grateful for that review and rating. A bad review won’t bother me unless it describes things that don’t actually happen in the book or if I’m being attacked personally. Otherwise, I’m thrilled knowing that people are reading my books and letting people know their thoughts on them – good or bad.
not officially announced yet ) via Rafflecopter. I’ve used Rafflecopter before but not as an author so bear with me. 😉 There are lots of ways to enter so check it out and share it if you know others who might be interested in the giveaway. If you have any problems shoot me a message and I’ll see what I can do to fix it.