Quickie ‘Willy #5’ Excerpt

First things first…

I’ve never screamed so loud during a football game and Alabama has had a lot that came down to the final play. It’s a good thing I have a strong heart. Good Lord, that was one hell of a game.

Until next year. 🙂

#RollTide #NationalChampions #17

Now that I’ve got that out of the way, how about a quickie Willy scene from (still untitled) Willy #5?

To set the scene, Dylan (the MC of the story) has asked Randy to come see him in Mistletoe Hill because he needs help with something. Dylan and Randy go way back but this is the first time Dylan’s ever met Willy the elf. Note that this is unedited and the wording will likely change a little before the book is published in early November.

If you read Barry the Lonely Reindeer & His Bashful Elf, you’ll remember Dylan as being Mrs. Claus’ date (though I use that word lightly) at the annual Christmas party.

I let go of Randy’s hand and reach over and shake Willy’s much smaller one.

“Nice to finally meet you, Willy.”

“You have sex with that haggy ho?” he asks without preamble.

“Willy,” Randy hisses.

The elf looks up at him with his hands on his hips.

“What? He was her date, wasn’t he?”

“Uh, no. I did not have sex with that, what was it you called her?” I respond, trying hard not to laugh.

“Haggy ho. She’s an old hag and she’s a ho. Haggy Ho.”

“What Willy is trying to say,” Randy interjects, calling my attention back to him, “is that he’s run out of mean names to call her so he’s making them up as he goes along now.”

“Pfft! There’s an endless list of names to call her. This just happens to be my latest one.” He looks closely at me. “You didn’t have sex with her?”

“I most definitely did not. I was only there for reasons I’d hoped to talk to Randy about.”

“Good enough. You’d have caught a disease or something so that was smart on your part, though being seen with the bitch surely didn’t win you any favors.”

I take a step back when Willy tries to stand on his knees on the high stool and look over the bar. Randy barely catches him before he takes a tumble to the hardwood.

“What are you doing, elf?” Randy asks, sounding exasperated and humored at the same time.

Willy motions up and down my body.

“I see the front. I want to see if the rear is as nice to look at. I thought it would be rude to ask him to turn around. Well, I saw his rear at the Christmas party but he was wearing a suit. Asses look hotter in jeans and, well, Dylan’s wearing tight ones and-”

“Willy.”

He looks up at his reindeer.

“What?”

“Stop making the man uncomfortable. Not to mention that you shouldn’t be telling total strangers that you want to see their butts. It could get you arrested or worse.”

Willy’s eyes go to slits before he turns back to the bar with a pout.

“I was just curious is all,” he says softly, his little elf lip poking out. “There ain’t nothin’ wrong with wanting to look at nice things.”

So, as you see Willy’s still his pervy little elf self. I wrote a little on the story while I was out of town. I was literally in bed with the flu when Willy started ‘talking to me’. That’s the way it always works. The story slams into me at the worst possible time. Thankfully, I jotted down some notes and was able to write some when I started feeling a little better. I’m really hoping to get this particular story written early in the year so I have the rest of the year to clean it up. But then again, I’ve said that with the past three stories too and we see how that worked out. *snort*

I’m home now but I really wish I was back out of town with my husband. That’s the longest I’ve ever been away (4 weeks). Normally I’m the worst about planning everything down to the final detail. I don’t do last minute – ever – and when I go on a trip I have to plan it WAY in advance. With this trip, I just went with the flow. It was really nice. I wouldn’t have left when I did if I wouldn’t have had to. I needed to come home and start being a responsible adult again, even if I really didn’t want to. 🙂

That’s it for now. I’m going to try to do more posts in 2018 than in years past. There will be excerpts, quotes, and even a giveaway or two. Next week I may add an excerpt from Finding Alex, that I promise will be published soon. It’s long been finished. Maybe I’ll even add the cover and blurb. I don’t think I’ve done that yet.

If there’s anything else you guys want to see let me know. I’m determined not to disappear so much in 2018. I can’t thank you all enough for sticking with me.

I hope everybody is doing well.

Until next time,

Candi

 

Barry the Lonely Reindeer & His Bashful Elf – Up for Pre-Order! – & Excerpt

Barry the Lonely Reindeer & His Bashful Elf is now up for pre-order on Amazon! It will officially be released on November 1st. All the players from past stories are back in all their glory, including Willy the elf who has a few issues with Barry’s ex. It’s never a good idea to call Willy the Chief’s little guy. 🙂 Check out a quickie and unedited excerpt with Willy and Mrs. Claus at the bottom of this post. I’ll add one with Barry and Ricky soon.

Thank you to everyone who has embraced my kooky version of the North Pole and who continue to ask for more. I hope you enjoy Barry and Ricky’s story.

 

Barry the Lonely Reindeer & His Bashful Elf (Willy the Kinky Elf & His Bad-Ass Reindeer, #4)

From the world of Willy the Kinky Elf & His Bad-Ass Reindeer.

The North Pole isn’t exactly as it appears in fairy tales. It has the elves and Santa and his reindeer, but Santa and Mrs. Claus aren’t the jolly couple the world believes them to be. Far from it, actually. The reindeer are all shape-shifters who transform into gorgeous beings in human form and are respected by all.

Reindeer Barry Simpson leads a simple life. He works, comes home, then does it all again the next day. Once upon a time, he was outgoing and social. That changed after he became involved with an abusive reindeer. It’s been a year since Barry ran and he’s finally getting over his fears, eager to start living again.

Ricky is a shy elf who blushes at every turn. One accidental touch and Barry’s convinced he’s finally met his mate. He’s never been with an elf before but he knows in his heart that this is the man he’s been waiting for.

Between meddling parents, an overprotective brother, and even a sad Santa Claus, Barry and his elf are pulled in several directions. When his abusive ex-boyfriend starts getting violent, Barry has to fight to protect not only himself but also those he loves, including his newfound mate.

Approximately 51,000 words.

Available for pre-order for November 1, 2017 publication.

Pre-order Links – Amazon | Kobo | iBooks |

Excerpt –

Together we walk along the sidewalk and down the streets of Santa’s Village, passing several people along the way. In front of the post office a group of elder elves separate for us to get through. I feel the same tingle in Ricky’s hand that I felt the first time we touched. I look down and can tell he feels it too.

We’ve not even walked a block when I hear Willy saying my name from somewhere behind us. We both stop and turn to look. Willy’s standing in the middle of the sidewalk, hands on his hips, yelling at Mrs. Claus.

“You can get your skanky ass out of my way.” He points in mine and Ricky’s direction. “Thanks to you I lost the reindeer.”

“Huh?” I ask just loud enough for Ricky to hear me.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, elf, but you’re blocking the sidewalk,” Mrs. Claus growls. “Either get out of my way or I’ll move you myself.”

“Just try it with your bimbo stiletto self.”

She leans down and gets in his face.

“Or?”

“Or, or, uh, I don’t know, but I’ll think of something. Or Randy will. Barry almost got kidnapped!”

I raise a brow.

“You’ve lost your mind, little boy.”

“And now the reindeer who was trying to do it is long gone. I was close enough to grab his back hoof until you got in my way. Now take your fake eyelashes and silicone and go back to where you’ve been hiding.”

I want to laugh but I know better. Not at the attempted kidnapping if that’s what it was, obviously, but at tiny Willy’s threats.

“Willy?” I call out.

He waves a hand, dismissing me.

“I got this, Barry. Your butt head ex is probably in the next county now, though, thanks to fake tits McGhee here.”

“My butt head ex?”

“He flew down and had his front hoofs out to grab you. He saw me going after him so he took off like the wimpy ass he is.” He points at Mrs. Claus. “Then Stripper Pole Claus here got in my way and I missed my chance of whooping reindeer butt – again.”

“Uh, thank you?” I say, still trying not to laugh.

“Nothin’ to it.”

“You need to remember who you’re talking to, elf,” Mrs. Claus says through gritted teeth, calling Willy’s attention back to her. “I don’t care that you’re sleeping with Randy. I can still destroy you.”

“The only thing you’re probably still capable of destroying is that overused vag of yours.”

“Oh, shit,” I mumble.

Thankfully, Derek shows up out of nowhere and gets between the elf and Santa’s wife. 

“Mrs. Claus,” he says with a tip of his head. He gently turns Willy back toward the workshop. “Back to work for you. There’ll be other opportunities to kick reindeer butt.”

He doesn’t even attempt to hide his amusement. He sends a wave our way and the moment is gone. Willy is ushered back to work and Mrs. Claus stomps her six-inch stilettos and turns and walks the other direction.